Dating Once Again,
Once we get over the break-up and pick up our pieces and say our affirmations and put out to the universe – hey I’m single again, ready for the next guy/girl; I decided to try online dating. I began with match.com; eharmony.com; zoosk.com however they are all sites that cost money for you to read their messages and I particularly did not want to pay money for these sites.
Then one afternoon whilst I was checking my emails and a Louise Hay newsletter that I receive mentioned a site called Meetmindful.com, which is a free site. There are not a lot of men in Southampton who have the same beliefs, although I did meet this guy and we shared similar interests however we did not share the same values as it seems.
So I referred back to my book “Are You The One For Me” by Dr Barabara DeAngelis and clearly I am not asking enough questions. She mentions in her book that we do more research in buying a car than we do with a potential partner. Clearly with my ex and this guy I did not ask the questions needed, or maybe I didn’t ask the questions because I didn’t want to know the answer. Unfortunately we do need to ask these questions whether we like it or not and I realise it’s not romantic but it is necessary.
Lets put this in practice, with advise from my housemate I signed up to Plenty of Fish (POF) a free dating website. I developed my profile so that mine mentions what values I have and hope to meet someone with similar values, wants to be in relationship and similar activities.
So I get a message from this guy who is 42 and a Cable Maker in Southampton, lets call him Date 1. So far his profile is good, wants to be in a relationship, has a job and has similar interests. So through messaging I began to ask the questions like what is his values to which he answered Respect, Loving and Honesty which is not bad as mine are Communication, Respect and Integrity; I asked if he was into personal development and if he was open minded (as I am a spiritual person), he replied that personal development is good you’ve got to have goals in life and that he likes to think he’s open minded. Date 1 also had the opportunity to ask some of his questions as well. As seen some of the questions can be daunting however in the book, Dr DeAngelis does mention to do it over a few months to get to know the person but I decided to ask some questions straight up.
This did not scare Date 1 away and he was happy to answer the questions and he also asked to meet. We arranged a place and time to meet; we again asked more questions as well as talked and got to know each other a little more. I personally thought it went well and we messaged a few times after our meeting and he arranged to meet again in a few days which is positive, then nothing he stopped replying to my messages and fell off the face of the earth.
This is really rude however don’t take these things personally as rejection is a form of protection, the universe has seen something that I haven’t and has rescued me from a disaster. Undoubtedly he was not genuine with his answers so could that mean he’s not a genuine person? Possibly but it is not for us to judge another’s personality/character. There are many people out there who will say anything you want to hear, but you have to trust your higher self/intuition/gut feeling whether to trust that person or not.
As the saying goes there are plenty more fish in the sea, or in this case on the internet which leads me to Date 2.