dA household should be a wonderful place, the chi energy flowing with ease and the people within the household living harmoniously; a picture perfect place. I was living in a House Share and there was one housemate that didn’t seem to flow with the energy in the house and it is quite amazing how it turned and how it impacted on the other housemates.
When something like this happens within your home, the place where you can relax and rest, it can become quite distressing in the household and on the people that live there. The attitude of the people in the house changes, returning back to your home to relax and rest becomes uneasy. However this just doesn’t happen in the house but it can happen in your place of work which is where you are majority of your time.
If we were to go to the animal kingdom and there was an animal that didn’t click within their pack then there would be a massive fight and the weakest would be kicked out of the pack. As humans we don’t do that in fact we persevere to the point of breaking, now is this how you want to carry on?
In the beginning of meeting someone you only get their face value and usually the first impression and the vibration that the person gives off during the first meeting is usually pleasant and friendly. However, the more you get to know them you realise that there is no connection. In a romantic relationship you would leave the other person and look for another mate. In a working relationship or living with other people, you sometimes don’t have that option therefore you need to then make your space at work or home positive.
Feng Shui the space around you and bring in beautiful objects. A living plant is always great for the home or office. Crystals once cleansed and programmed can help deter negativity like the amazing almighty Amethyst crystal and maybe keep a few protective gems such as Tiger’s Eye. Also, bring in the essential oils and keep them on you as well as around you so you’re never left without, in a stressful situation I like to use DoTERRA’s Lavender Peace and Balance.
Once your space is how you like it. Then you’ll need to get you headspace clear as well and meditation is perfect for that, not only will it get you in a calmer space but also can give a protective barrier for when you need to be around that person.
Only be around the person when you need to and when you are around them be respectful, but make sure you keep your distance every other time. This includes distancing yourself verbally but be cordial towards them, as you may not want to talk to them as a mate but you still need to talk to them professionally. I would suggest not to go drinking with them, as you could get yourself in a great deal of hurt and once something is said you can’t retract those words.
Begin not to personalise their actions toward you, when you feel that you are a target of their abuse it’s easy to believe they have something against you. When in fact, they have their own issues themselves and unfortunately you feel that you are getting all the punches. Send them love and continue deflecting their punches.
If there is no other way and now the issue has become serious then you may have to sit down and talk to them. Don’t waste your time nor energy and to save grief you need to assess the situation and come across as a problem solver not an attacker. It’s best to be organised and write the main issues out, the little petty issues are probably best not to bring up at the moment. Once you have listed the main problems then you’ll need to try and change it to a positive comment, because it becomes easier to be that problem solver instead of the other person feeling attacked.
I ask you to do something, you acknowledge me but then you don’t.
I appreciate that you answer me, however I would appreciate it if you would actually do it.
The end sentence can be:
“I like that you acknowledge my requests but let’s talk about the issues that prevent you doing them”
To be an effective communicator you need to be clear and firm with your delivery and separate the person from the issue. This will take time and you may feel better after writing them down and realise that you may not need to go further.
However if you do continue with the conversation watch their body language and verbal changes. As you’re talking to the person you may see that the other person is becoming uncomfortable and begins to be aggressive towards you. In this case, you need to stay calm and switch the spotlight on them. If their behaviour continues and you feel it's getting nowhere then you may need to stop and retry when they’ve calmed down.
If the situation continues and nothing has changed then depending on your situation the next thing is to remove yourself from that person. Finding another place to live or asking that person to leave is not an improper proposal as the other person may feel the same awkwardness. In a workplace maybe a transfer to different department or if you’re not able to then maybe you will need to speak to a supervisor/manager for them to interject, you may find that your supervisor may already see the tension between the two of you.
The stress that can be put on the body can lead to physical and emotional problems as in weight loss or gain; ailments; unable to focus; continual feeling of tiredness and many more symptoms. Once the stress is gone it can take the body and mind a while to get back to it’s norm, that’s why continuing with your spiritual practice and exercises, especially yoga, will help normalise the body and mind easier.