Did you know that we need fear in our lives? That’s right, fear is a human instinct that allows us to judge what’s not safe and what is however sometimes fear controls us and the way that we think. When something bad happens to you it gets stored into your subconscious and whenever a similar situation arises you will automatically feel fear, anxiety and stress.
Although, not all situations are the same but there may be a familiar trigger that will cause your body to go into fight or flight mode, which means that your cortisol rises to give you the energy needed to get through it.
Then there’s another fear which is indirect to you meaning that it’s something you have heard or seen. When people ask me how do you survive in Australia I have to laugh because I ask them what they mean they go with all those dangerous spiders and snakes, I can never go there because of that. Just let me tell you, I have never been bitten by a spider, snake or shark. However the fear of these things prevent people to have a beautiful and enjoyable holiday in Oz.
When I was a teen I began my love of horror movies and became a big fan of Stephen King, but I was not a big book reader. Then Mum introduced to the world of movies, well back in those days a VCR, and I watched IT with Jonathon Brandis and wow great movie. Mum then said that she’s going to Gozzy Markets to pick up some food, I thought great I’ll come with. As we entered the markets a clown jumped out in front of me and I let out this mighty big scream, I literally nearly shat myself. The clown pissed himself laughing whilst Mum was so embarrassed and then scolded me that I’m to never watch horror movies again. To this day I’m a bit weary of clowns.
So ask yourself:
1. What is stopping you?
When you have this hesitation to do something there is obviously something holding you back, what is it? Be honest about this because this is about you and no one else, remember this is your life that you want to live and sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge these things. If it’s to do with a past trauma then I suggest seeing a therapist who can help you get over it.
2. Address the fear and feel it
Understand where this fear has come from, for example if you have a minor phobia with clowns then go and be around clowns a little exposure therapy will not hurt you.
3. Why are you allowing this fear to control you?
As mentioned above having a small amount of fear is great warning sign for us, however in some cases the fear controls us so much that you are not able to leave your own home. Why are you giving fear this power over you?
During my Reignite Your Light Workshop we dive deeper into this section but these are the main three questions to identify the fear.